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At the Expense of Humanity

by Judicator

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  • At the Expense of Humanity 2015 Divebomb CD
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Divebomb Records CD release of At the Expense of Humanity. Pressed on silver disc.

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You--I demand your attention! A story would be told about a boy who's growing older Now's the time to dive inside your warped and tattered mind The pieces do not fit the puzzle of your logic's path And as I sit in the candlelight A silhouette from behind Failing Gods Into the shadow of my mind, mindful of the implications Failing Gods Where was your God when brother died? Failing Gods A cancer patient hopes he'll win Failing Gods I'm by your side until the end Punished by the hand of God for seizing fruit of knowledge The metaphor made flesh--you'd carve me pound for pound And as he rots in his death bed I see his father with calloused eyes Failing Gods Into the shadow of my mind, mindful of the fading light Failing Gods They've put their stock in failing Gods Failing Gods A cancer patient hopes he'll win Failing Gods I'm by your side until the end Solo: Tyler Failing Gods Into the shadow of my mind, mindful of the implications Failing Gods Where was your God when brother died? Failing Gods A cancer patient hopes he'll win Failing Gods I'm by your side until the end Solo: Tony There is no rhyme or reason
Waste away for hours, slip away The only way out of this cage You're fading away By the window watching autumn leaves My only break from reality He lies in his agony He'll die, this I feel but But what's the purpose behind? He lies, shadows of pink in the light Implies terrible things will happen to all Never had a normal life, I'm not the same Severed ties to community Your fears are legitimate Meander through hallways day by day Leave my mind to die by day The mind when unfed it It feeds--so insatiable It eats itself The mind, so unnourished It eats any idea it comes in contact with Solo: Calos Solo: Tony He lies to himself yet He cries out for mercy But still he keeps up his faith He lies to the others He cries when they ask him How he's doing I'm not
You say I'm angry, I can't deny It's burning in my veins But that's only the symptom You say I'm searching, I tell you now The things that I have seen Could crush your fragile state of mind We call it folklore Wander the moonscape, let your spirit fly Disguised as strength and yet I never question why Wander the moonscape, a dreamworld farewell Your id desires freedom, subterfuge by self Born in my mind, a seed of misanthropic fear I can't identify as one of you I know It's not a phase, it's not a stretch I'd love to rid myself this useless cage of human flesh We call it folklore Wander the hallways, let your spirit fly Disguised as innocence, you never question why Wander the hallways, a conscious farewell Your id desires freedom, subterfuge by self Solo: Tyler Wander the hospital, let your spirit fly I am a lonely vessel, candle in the night Wander the hospital, subconscious farewell Memories and time will fade How long do broken ships sail? Lies and lies from generations die Yet I'm the only one who questions Why we're here
I walk alone at night, hoping that I'll find Epiphany or more, a greater understanding Always knew that I'd be alone Never thought that I'd find a home Home, a different meaning Who is solitary Always knew that I'd die alone Never thought that I'd find someone Someone to be by my side To help me find the fleeting light Full moon shine--I'm swimming in my deepest fears Blackest skies--a highway jam that's in my head Nevermind--something is here Crashing waves--I'm treading in the blackened waves Flowing blood--relentless routing in my head Pounding fear--time to reveal Feeling now that my brother's tale Doesn't have a happy end End to a broken line This wretched soul, observer Always knew I was special, I I'm taken back by By the surreal feelings here Almost like a dreamworld here Glowing moon--it's almost like a lucid dream Lurking doom--or is it just a catalyst? Nevermind--time to go back Gentle wind--I look up to his room alight So exposed--I'm standing naked in the rain Now return--to numbing death Cancer leaves families exposed Rips, cracks into canyon walls Step by step up to his room Lying there, mother beside Solo: Tony Fantasy is torn apart Reality is fucking stark Stark in the face of tears Eyes that show our fears Mom caresses withered hands Hold on tight and pray loud Loud is the comfort of men Yet they're silent in their pride Indoor breeze--this surely cannot happen now Earned your keys--into another bleaker world Blood and bone--you won't escape Only smoke--emergency to save his life Without fire--no longer am I here alone Earned your keys--time to grow up
Peeling back the layers of what is real Darkness comes into my realm surreal and Pulsing steady, macabre delight It calls to me beating, somewhere in the night Oh how it burns Dreams broken by you, your suffering and your pain Infects those you love, we share in all the pain Now--time to be seen See--all that has been Free--all that you think Let us inside you No--let us be you Please--soon we'll be through What--do you desire? All that I can know I sit alone by windows So silent, meditating quiet There's nothing odd it seems but A drop of sweat spells in all out Shadows with eyes A force of nature has found a friend Shadow's disguise The memories are cast into light Speak, speak to me she pleads So kind and motherly One shouldn't speak his thoughts Just keep to your own self Why (I) have you come here? I (you) want it all clear? Shall (we) we learn about Each other and more? Why (I) isn't the question I (you) want it all clear Shall (we) we take our hands Leap into the void We spoke for endless hours What seemed like lifetimes passing by All that is dark and twisted A journey through what I forgot Signs from within What might be certain might also fail Signs all around Life with blinders, I shall be found Solo: Tyler Darkness behind, behind the door it's Darkness inside, inside each of us Darkness behind, behind the door it's Darkness inside, inside each of us I'm in a dream/reality A paradox so real No… Contact, eternity between us Answers, it's opening floodgates in my mind Solo: Josh Solo: Tony Looking straight into my soul he asks me "Are you ready to forgive me?" Forgive him now! Now begins my spiral fall into the black Grey ethereal world of answers, answers and lies Curiosity divine yet frightening When left alone the mind will turn on, turn on itself Open doorways, let the dark come in The void seems frightening, but it needs you Needs to be seen No more dreams, the things I've seen In a lifetime of mere seconds Time compressed, what's the deal? To be struck between yourself and I No limits, I want to fly Leave the world of mortals far behind No body, I want to die leave us one with the elements in space A noble step into the light Of the darkness of reality Count to three, and then you'll see This has all been just inside your head No! I want to stay You! Do not betray I! I found you there I have freed your soul We (I) are to be bound I (we) cannot be found Die (no) singular path For my desires Awaken from the stupor of meditation gone awry But still the pain is with me and to my right he's lying there Stand into light The morning beams of the sun's twilight Stand up and see A newfound path of your destiny
Rays of sunshine through the haze In these melancholy days A mind who's blinded by the pathos 'til the nerve is burned and numb Have I gone too far? A fallen star, but did I ever really shine? I feel the truth unfold Blur the lines and pray But not to God, I yearn the flawed embrace of man I feel the lines have thus been blurred The catalyst of mine occurred Bent the straw and broke the line This new reality of mine
Waiting for heaven to shine Watching the life force of my brother drain away Carried on through hellish halls Dimly lit, I hear the calls You can't save me--I'm breaking down Family weeps together and the presence of another man Michael Andrus has just arrived "I am the father of the man who's dying here This is my power, authority of God" I carried hopes with me that somehow we'd avoid These ego games and sport for your control Life, after this life, after this death You're wandering in a lucid nightmare now To be the wraith who wanders endlessly through space You're looking death in its pallid face this time Carry me away and split this soul apart In this world of mine inside my head Carry me away and bring me to the edge To the edge of consciousness and pride Skies of grey and howling wind Let the combat trial begin Fratricidal--we'll spill the blood! "My son has title chance to make it through this hell His guts are liquified and chemo treatments failed" I cannot say that you are wrong or you are right But words from you are venom, no agreement is in sight Life, ending his life, mercy disguised You're withdrawing into lucid nightmares now He'll be the wraith who wanders endlessly through space You're looking into a fantasy this time Carry me away to dream forevermore In this world I'm promised to explore Carry me away and bring me with you there To where pain is gone and dreams are real Dancing starlight Dance with me Dancing starlight Solo: Tony Time, time to decide, palaver's time Time to decide what to do with dying men To be the man who holds authority of God's kind will This vanity illusion will decay When the bastard son is held into the light Pass the torch and praise the King of Rome When the bastard son is old enough to rule Then your reign will end by Mordred's hand
Autophagia 06:17
"So it's clear brother, looking back I have regrets and though I know I hurt you Cast aside your mother and left you Understand the pain that scarred my mind And twisted my heart Please forgive my actions Please allow me to die with dignity" Wishing silent just to cry and curl up on the floor Looking down at him, pale and sunken eyes Bony fingers and rib cage Rage, rage in my heart, dying to kill Pull all the flesh from the bone Sinew from bone, stabbing to death All that's repressed and Rage, rage in my heart, dying to die Easy as one finger's pull Pull the trigger, end it all now Nothing is worthwhile Day by day I see him fade Day by day I want to follow him Fading time, his mind is dulling Like a blunted spear once proud Kill the pain, benumb him Dull his senses, just let him fade away Sleep away to stop the pain Pretty soon he'll fall asleep for good Death is closer yet, no one knows when Helplessly I go on No one cares for you, no one dares love you Leave your mind to itself Rage, rage in my heart, dying to kill Pull all the flesh from the bone Sinew from bone, stabbing to death All that's repressed and Rage, rage in my heart, dying to die Easy as one finger's pull Pull the trigger, end it all now Nothing is worthwhile Set me free from my myself I cannot take anymore Solo: Tony Solo: Tyler Rage, rage in my heart, dying to kill Pulling off ears and your lips Knife between ribs, slowing heartbeat All that's repressed and Rage, rage in my heart, dying to die Easy as one leap of faith Come from nothing, end as nothing Nothing is worthwile
Life Support 04:26
Between rage and sorrow We sense approaching death The drugs put him to sleep He's conscious less and less He will come back to us, God will not abandon I gave him life, and I won't see my pride and joy slip away I know that I hide alone But I will never leave you I wouldn't have you take this path Of what I'll soon become Please--sitting in corners alone Please come back to me No--trust in the gift of life He will pass on in the night I hope that I may be wrong God will relieve thosewith faith Please--I will not give up on you I'm bracing myself for the storm Storm! I will not yield! I know that you would pray But no prayers will sound while that thing is still around I just can't take it all, this constant hate and fear Like a snake that circles round and round and feasts upon itself I know that you two butt heads, but can't you let that rest? My son is dying here and still you can't but difference aside? Will you consider my words? I just want to be alone How can we deal with this shit? You've already danced with death We could go on in shifts There's no sense dealing with him Trust--how can I trust in you people? It is your only choice Madness--can I be set free? No more--now show yourself Selfish--picking on my brother's wife Stop now--his poor love Cold bitch--just leave her alone! Please, now! Everything's ending Snide jabs--leave the girl alone! Michael! It's good that my brother can't see Solo: Josh Now--watching the strength in her heart Tolerance comes to an end Now you can see why I left Stories have come to life A glimpse into broken minds Everyone carries burdens But don't let it fester in you I know that it's my sacrifice
Cast aside the impulse of my fear Leave behind the world you once held dear I feel cursed by heaven Cut loose my frustrations Led to darkest waters Treading in the void of death I'm ready to deny (The body of your waking life) I'm ready to defy Fall asleep, I'll meet you there (Burning the fray!) Sacrifice your waking life Count the sheep until you fade (Burning the fray!) Then your feet will touch the shore He gasps, raspy breathing No more life support and He's swimming on his own Circling the void he will roam I watch my brother die (The mind of your waking life) I ask the heavens, "why?" Fall asleep, I'll meet you there (Burning the fray!) Swirling mist coils round your feet Fall asleep, I'll meet you there (Burning the fray!) Almost like a twisted dream Solo: Tyler Nemesis starts at our hearts Again with his fights and righteous scorn Mother is done, rebuking him Rage of paternal love divine "Get out" she says, "leave her alone" "You're heartless and vile, I want you out!" After she's done, Jared is gone Flat-lined as if he saw it all And now, after all He sees his own son dead And flees into hallways As we're left with just a corpse Fall asleep, I'll meet you there (Burning the fray!) Slip your feet into the warm Fall asleep, I'll meet you there (Burning the fray!) Leave your mortal shell behind
Solo: Carlos Resting in fields of a nebula I rise from my throne of stars There to my right is a gaseous form and I speak but no words come forth Colors burn the human eye Godlike structures etched in time Paradox of change divine Cast from shadows We're all one creature, life form, and cell divine I am bleeding into the cup of immortality Solo: Tyler Mockery of human form Spirit child you're now reborn Enter through these astral gates Fly beyond and seal your fate Dreaming of you now, wondering if you're still here Move through arches, the dark behind the doorway now Glitches of gold in the sky above me Wince at its light as you cry in glory Now that you have eternity at your hands Will you find all you sought before? Fantasy renewed yet different Given life anew, but skewed and warped You've made the progress and done me proud I'll call you family and life the shroud Bestowed my wisdom upon the noble meek There is reward for those who seek I found thy wisdom, but at a price Gave up all that I am, soon I will forget That I was once a being with everlasting hope And yet I learned the lesson Shed the mask and coped Pass the light, remember the fallen I will be the "King of Rome" Singing songs to honor the loved You will be the "King of Rome" Solo: Jeff Solo: Tony Given the choice of how to live Honor my family scarred and torn Cancer is just a part of life Everyone tumbles in the flames There is no reason to explain Anything by the hand or will of God Life's a burden, love is loss You're not a winner when you don't even play Give it all and it's not enough Nothing that's worthwhile comes without some pain


'At the Expense of Humanity' is a progressive power metal concept album about singer John Yelland's brother who passed away after battling cancer. The album details the story of John's family, their struggles, and his personal existential and philosophical quandaries that resulted. Musically, the album shows the band moving away from the Germanic power metal styles explored on their sophomore effort 'Sleepy Plessow' and diving into more progressive territories, as well as incorporating elements from other sub genres of metal they had not previously used. This album was successfully crowd-funded in 2014 and produced by Dirty Viking Audio and Tower Studios.


released March 28, 2015

Judicator is...

John Yelland - Vocals
Alicia Cordisco - Guitars, Bass
Jordan Elcess - Drums
Lorelai Laffey - Keyboards

Guest Musicians:
Carlos Alvarez (Shadowdance) - Guitar Solo (Tracks 3, 12)
Jeff Teets (MindMaze) - Guitar Solo (Track 12)
Joshua Payne (Epyon) - Guitar Solo (Tracks 6, 10)
Paul Black (Turned to Stone) - Harsh Vocals (Tracks 6, 10)
Mercedes Victoria - Female Vocals (Track 10)
Austin Bentley (Disforia) - Strings (Tracks 7, 8, 13)

John Yelland
Carlos Alvarez
Dave Brown (Chaos Frame)

Produced, Reamped & Mixed by Carlos Alvarez at Dirty Viking Audio: www.facebook.com/DirtyVikingAudio

Mastered and Sequenced by Brett Caldas-Lima at Tower Studio:

Album Artwork by Austin Bentley at Austin Bentley Art:

All lyrics by John Yelland
All music by Alicia Cordisco and Lorelai Laffey


all rights reserved



Judicator Tucson, Arizona

Judicator is a Power Metal band formed by John Yelland and Alicia Cordisco after the two met at a Blind Guardian concert. They released two historical based albums as a recording project, and then evolved into a full band, signing with Prosthetic Records in 2020! Their 6th album 'The Majesty of Decay' full of epic and progressive power metal is out now! ... more


  • Apr 04
    Roskilde, Denmark

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